That whole PG-13 rating fucked everything up.  Shit, we could all be watching a dripping wet Scarlett Johannsen slip out of a red bikini to The Cars' "Moving in Stereo"…or get date-raped by a stereo salesman, for that matter.

Let me preface by saying that there are very few who hold the Van Halens in lower regard than I do; watching them degrade from a bunch of drunken party animals to menopausal old bags was sad and painful.  That being said, this song could've been much, much worse.  Let's be fair to Dave: his job was never so much…

Yeah, forgot how good she looked back then.  I'd still take Grace Kelly, circa '56.

The only thing ballsier/stupider would if be if they made you go out & buy a pop-up book.

Time to track down & crucify the inventors of Auto-Tune.  Anyone with me?

That Monica Belluci rape scene in Irreversible always gives me the chuckles.

I forced my then-wife to watch "Evil Dead 2" once.  As soon as she saw Ash, she was all, "THIS guy is the hero?  Seriously?  He's a DORK!"  I patiently informed her that this was precisely the point, and that it was fun to have a funny-looking jackass be a kickass hero,  but she was having none of it.  It was one of…

True that.  "Spectres" and "Agents of Fortune" are two all-time favorite albums.  They were like Black Sabbath, but competent musicians.

I agree.  I never liked Jennifer Aniston, but this movie made me reconsider.  "You're gonna fuck my slutty little mouth Dale!"

"Shoot to Thrill" for Johnson-era, "If You Want Blood You Got It" wins the general election.  I don't usually listen to the lyrics too closely, but I'm assuming it's about banging a chick on the rag, which is pretty awesome.

I can honestly say— with zero sarcasm whatsoever— I'd rather it be her than Lady Antebellum.

I hate Thin Lizzy.  The only thing they were good for was for launching John Sykes' career, who rocked the fuck out of Whitesnake's "Still of the Night" and Blue Murder's "Valley of the Kings".  Seriously, listen to that shit; I've played guitar for a while now, and I still have no idea how such awesome soloing is…

Never Say Die is one of Sabbath's worst records?  Boy, you don't know much about Sabbath…

Frodo, I took one to see "The Sixth Sense" once.  Seemed a pretty safe movie, and one I actually was interested in seeing.  Dude, I nearly got fired for that.  Aaaaannnd, just to further illustrate how fucked-up everyone is about disabled folks, I showed the movie "How's Your News?" for my company's retreat, and got…

Actually, foot soldiers in WW1 used a fantastic variety of weapons in trench warfare, including maces, swords, bayonets, and even plate armor.  Many of these weapons were fashioned in workshops that craftsmen-turned-soldiers set up in the trenches during the long, tedious weeks between battles.  A WW1 FPS, properly…

Avalon Hill's "Guns of August".  A board game about strategic trench warfare in WW1.  Now, if that doesn't sound boring enough, it consists of a huge hex grid map of Europe, and about 1500 little cardboard tiles.  Each tile has five numbers that describe what sort of battalion it represents.  If the normal trench war…

The cast of "Remote Control" would probably work for pocket lint these days.

You have limited options working with disabled adults.  Trust me, I would've loved to use the petty cash supply to take them to see "Fight Club", but they all would've told their parents that I'd taken them to a movie with "boobies" and "the f-word".  The parents would've had my head on a pike, despite all their kids…

The Exploited said it best.  I defy anyone to improve on "Maggie".

Ouds are pretty bad-ass, but that's more Asia Minor.  THIS chick, on the other hand, needs to bear about a dozen of my children:  http://youtu.be/V0YBJeS323k