It's so cute how the singer continues to dye his hair and maintain his piercings.

That's totally just your OPINION!

This sounds like the plot of every Nazsploitation movie ever made.  Does the chick at any point get electrodes clipped to her nipples?

Ace of Base, Lou Bega, Aqua, Spin Doctors!  BWAHAHAHAaaa!

Mr. Gibson, have you ever used a stunt-butt in any of your films?  No, sir, that's not what I meant when I said "used"…

…or a nightmare near-future in which a young heroin addict assassinates religious/political leaders for the mysterious Dr. X.  (Actually, Mindcrime is possibly the best concept album ever.  Leave it to Queensryche to sully it with "Mindcrime 2: Electric Boogaloo")

I'd rather not thanks.

It's the adult-contemporary version of Rebecca Black.  This guy's singing style is driving me into a rage…MR. TEAS SMASH!!!

Oh yeah…this sequence blew young Mr. Teas's mind back when it was first released in theaters.  My only issue with this is that Indy doesn't reach back through the closing trapdoor to grab his hat after he climbs out of the pit.  Seemingly a minor detail, but one integral to building Indy's impossibly awesome…

In a roundabout way, this brings to mind my all-time favorite Simpsons quote, when Marge wanted to set up Grandpa with her mother:"It's funny Homer, both of our parents are so lonely"
"Hee hee hee, that IS funny!"

Relax, GLAAD, it's just a stupid show.  Sheesh, you'd think a bunch of guys who put cocks in their butts wouldn't be so uptight!

I have in front of me a box full of puppies.  For every bad Jimmy Stewart impression I hear through midnight 12/25, I will microwave one of them for three minutes.  I'm NOT screwing around here, people.

I'd think it would make it easier, actually.

"Christmas is the Time" by Kids of Widney High.  Nobody— I mean NOBODY—loves Christmas like developmentally disabled people.  I'm personally indifferent toward the holiday, but this always makes me smile.

I saw the playboy shoot of that one daughter a while back.  She sort of has his facial features, which I found very strange.  I still rubbed one out, though.

That was Vinnie right?  Best tape ever…sooo creepy.

I think I just heard Eric The Midget scream in rage.  "Aaaaaaargh!  Blast…you…STERN!"

I have some family that lives in crazy-rich neighborhoods on Long Island.  The yuppies aren't all bad, but the pressure to maintain appearances is insane.  That's why my sister is trapped in a loveless marriage, has $20,000 in credit card debt, and, because her dipshit husband had to buy a boat, is six months behind…

This is the sort of movie I'd be forced to see back when I looked after adults with developmental disabilities.  That's how I saw "Baby Geniuses"…twice.

Now don't get me wrong; I have nothing against those people…I SUPPORTED Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court appointment after all.  However, if my little girl comes home with one of them, she should understand that Daddy might not be able to pull any more strings to support her "Liberal Arts" career.  (Sips Scotch, lights…