Has anybody ever seen The AVClub writing staff and the RNC in the same place at the same time?

Cheap rum with super-sweet Mexican Coke, being unable to sleep due to the caffeine, then taking shots of cheap rum at 4AM to fall asleep, then getting up at 8AM to take the LSAT: C+.

"Orange Smurf"? Which one, John Boehner?

Every time I see something like this, I ask myself the same question: "Would I fuck a cartoon girl?"

Leg-numbing?
Apparently, I've been going about this "sex" thing all wrong…

Sorry, but I can't pardon Eddie Van Halen for all his douchebaggery…the Gary Cherone thing was bad enough, but replacing big-fat-party-animal Michael Anthony with his snotnosed brat? No effing way. And I was even willing to forgive Pete Townsend for the whole child-porn thing.

I find your ideas intruiging, Lydia, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Silly Chris. If you want a girl you can smack around, date Ke$ha.

I always thought it was funny that Mustaine was too much of a drunk asshole for even Metallica to tolerate. Dave Ellefson has the patience of Job.

Cool your jets, fellas. Both Palin and Bachman have had like, eight kids. It'd be like fucking a bucket.

The guy's student horror film is fan-fucking-tastic. Perfect parody of something a stupid horror-obsessed guy would make, but it also made me realize that it was fairly representative of the sort of student movie I would've made at the time. Or the demo album I would've recorded. Or the novel I would've written. …

Is it really a "near cover"…
…if no one has ever heard the original song?

Sounds like this generation's equivalent of Green Jelly. At best, it'll appeal to 30-something housewives who just learned how to use "ROFLMAO" on their Facebook pages.

That dollar is currently lodged in that house's plumbing system.

Glenn Beck gave this play salivating praise, presumably to try and draw attention from that competing Mormon show by those South Park guys.

Some of those Suzuki films, especially "Branded to Kill" or "Gate of Flesh". I won't say he's a better filmmaker than Kurosawa, but he's much more fun.

Billy, you might get more satisfaction from bludgeoning them with a 5-liter box.

Eric's a midget; Hank is (was) a dwarf.

@Teamocil:
Yeah, I have no problem with suffering through an occasional Sublime song when it's 80 degrees & sunny in March, and I'm armpit-deep in gorgeous latinas & filipinas. Owumd should spend a few months in Oklahoma to put things into perspective.

Give him a few years. There was also a time when Pam Anderson had better tits than David Hasselhof, after all.