My favorite thing about Adam Lambert was how uncomfortable he made all of my conservative American Idol-fan friends.

@Ke$ha:
Fill a water bottle with clear liquor, like gin or silver rum, or preferably vodka, which minimizes odors. If you must resort to brown booze, mix it with iced tea or cola. I've gotten through many a jury duty via such methods.

How could I forget Coover? "Pricksongs and Descants" earns a spot, if only for "The Babysitter". I can still open up "A Night at The Movies" at any given page and be guaranteed a variety of stylized rape and murder. Coover delivers!

I remember the scene where Dick sends the kid out for ice cream, and Madonna comes into the room behind him:

Glenn Beck was bleating about Crowe's "antisemitism" all day today. It would be a much nicer world if we could just round them up and put them in camps. Glenn Beck fans, I mean.

When I first read the title of the article, "Confederacy of Dunces" first came to mind. However, as far as a book with more underlined passages than any other, "Catch-22" wins out over all. Colonel Scheiskopff's line, "Can I schedule parades, and then call them off?" sums up perfectly every counterintuitive piece of…

The only thing that could make John Dahl's output more out-of-whack would be if "Red Rock West" were counted in his output.

Phoebe Cates
Initially popular when the red-bikini format was introduced in 1983, it quickly fell into obscurity by the early '90s. However, it maintains a loyal cult following among masturbation purists, who prize the original format's smooth, flawless skin and fantastic smile.

The best way to make it a great show would be to have contestants that: a) are total morons; b) are in terrible physical shape; and c) gag eating oysters.

He had the "Warrior" video he did for the Army Reserves. No joke, I saw this in the previews for the Rifftrax showing of "Plan 9 From Outer Space". The theater almost suffered a sarcasm-meltdown.

crusher is officially my new favorite poster. Sorry Lobsters.

My Fondest Cars-Related Memory
Was the Phoebe Cates "Moving in Stereo" scene from "Fast Times…" back in '83. You wouldn't think a nine-year old kid could manage so much masturbation…in retrospect, I can scarcely believe it myself.

Lydon frequently accused Matlock of being the most accomplished musician in the band.

Elementary Einsteinian music physics:
As the "Now!" series approaches the present, it will collapse inward on itself, forming a mass of suck so dense that not even The Who's "Live at Leeds" album could escape it.

The tone of the interview reads like someone who just made a documentary about consuming nothing but meth for 30 days.

Two positives about Rand:
1. This trilogy will keep the Rifftrax guys in business for a few more years.
2. Ayn Rand was a very handsome man.

Don't…Break…The…ICE!!!

I remember recording all those infamous "backmasked" rock songs onto a cassette, crack it open, reverse the reels, and play it back in reverse. It was worth the effort to hear backward Robert Plant jauntily singing "Ooooh, Satan is really lord!"

They auditioned Patty Smyth (From the band Scandal, which featured her) as a replacement for DLR. They actually could've done lots, lots worse.

EVH also ruined a Lawsuit-Era Ibanez Destroyer by chainsawing a chunk of wood from behind the tailpiece. Whenever I think about that story, I want to punch him in the back of the head.