From the producer of 'ROCK OF AGES'!!!

Didn't get to watch it, but I heard Yoko sang the national anthem to kick off this shindig…

Jeffy, PJ, Dolly and Barfy are out back oiling their snub noses.

I NEED DEEZ TINGS!!!

Our house was full of homophobes when this show began. It was full of angry homophobes when it came to an end.

Sir Winston begs to differ with your call on meathead crap.

I wonder what brand of panties Morrissey wears? Playtex, Spanx, Vanity Fair? And does he buy big girl sizes or is he so vain (or maybe just so European) he buys the smaller size that inevitably look more like a G-string? Can you picture him doing that Cameron Diaz thing in front of a mirror? Well, you just did, didn't…

Hello, and welcome to MOVIEFONE!

Screw these two pansies and their grudge. Will never forget Coachella '99, where both Morrissey and Marr (who was performing with Beck) were there at the same place at the same friggin' time, in between a set by the Chemical Bros. No reunion, not even a recognition or anything. And to add insult to injury, I nearly…

SLY: 'Tuh uhscape uh prizzen ya gotta become a prizzen…'
ARNIE: 'Unt ja, 'n dah furst roole of a crisis seetchuation eez, you negotiate furst, uhttack laust'
SLY: 'Yo, dis ain't no PIE EATIN' contest.'
ARNIE: 'SEE YOU AT DAH POTTY, RICHTAH!"

Megaphone to ear:

Hey, 'member when he stuck the pencil n' the table n' said, uh, I'm gonna' make this disappear? 'n then he slammed that black guys head into the pencil? 'member that? 'n, 'n, 'n member when his bike came out of the tumbler, 'n the Joker starts shootin' him, n' Batman just keeps comin', even though he's shootin' at…

Just once I'd like to watch a tv show or film where the title fades up and says 'HOTLANTA' instead.

As did Good Luck Chuck.

I prefer Eastwood's 'THE ROOKIE' over Hancock's 'THE ROOKIE'.

…or Bern Nadette Stanis

thanks dad. no, those leaves won't rake themselves…

You forgot to mention the robot. And Ian Holm. And Maury Chakin. And the claymation. And all that other hodge-podge-hey-let's-use-this-Final Draft software-and-make-cinematic goulash-cuz I did this instead of Alien Resurrection-ness…

Top Ten Headlines That Would Start a Panic

Hey, guess what? THIS SUCKS