Ew. Salad is the one thing I'm more prone to throwing up. I still love it, but there's something about it coming back up all crinkly and lettucey and ranchy….ew.

I could give you about forty suggestions off the top of my head, but all of them would involve cream cheese.

I could give you about forty suggestions off the top of my head, but all of them would involve cream cheese.

Vegetarian Times magazine and The Post Punk Kitchen, the latter moreso because it has an awesome name, but some of the recipes are pretty good.

Vegetarian Times magazine and The Post Punk Kitchen, the latter moreso because it has an awesome name, but some of the recipes are pretty good.

Perhaps someone could benefit from a little SEND TRUCKLOADS OF ITALIAN BEEF TO YOUR FRIENDS! ?

Perhaps someone could benefit from a little SEND TRUCKLOADS OF ITALIAN BEEF TO YOUR FRIENDS! ?

Ah, the good old days.

Ah, the good old days.

I just ate an entire order of Domino's Cinna Stix because I'm stuck at work and wanted cinnamon rolls. So there's that.

I just ate an entire order of Domino's Cinna Stix because I'm stuck at work and wanted cinnamon rolls. So there's that.

In old people news, SVU is doing a 50 Shades episode tonight. I am such an old person.

In old people news, SVU is doing a 50 Shades episode tonight. I am such an old person.

And Gossip Girl girl in an affair with Hugh Laurie gives hope to the mes of the world!

And Gossip Girl girl in an affair with Hugh Laurie gives hope to the mes of the world!

Gin is awesome. I used to drink it all day every day in my olde college days with virtually no harsh repercussions (only abortions!)

Gin is awesome. I used to drink it all day every day in my olde college days with virtually no harsh repercussions (only abortions!)

"Hipster cowboy" makes you seem like some kind of Wes Anderson characters. Which is to say, awesome.

"Hipster cowboy" makes you seem like some kind of Wes Anderson characters. Which is to say, awesome.

Ooh! White sunnies fo sho.