Ooh! White sunnies fo sho.

I'm more into bitchface, myself.

I'm more into bitchface, myself.

Not supremely mom, but supremely white Midwestern college student, from what I've seen around here.

Not supremely mom, but supremely white Midwestern college student, from what I've seen around here.

You don't want my advice, which is bouffant, bright tights, funky platforms (bonus points if they're sandals). Or black tights and flat oxfords if you're not diggin' the whole Lady Miss Kier vibe.

You don't want my advice, which is bouffant, bright tights, funky platforms (bonus points if they're sandals). Or black tights and flat oxfords if you're not diggin' the whole Lady Miss Kier vibe.

There's a guy who works at my local Starbucks who looks like Christian Bale. I keep wanting to yell "BATMAN!" at him, but somehow I feel like that's not socially appropriate behavior for a grown ass woman who does not have severe autism.

There's a guy who works at my local Starbucks who looks like Christian Bale. I keep wanting to yell "BATMAN!" at him, but somehow I feel like that's not socially appropriate behavior for a grown ass woman who does not have severe autism.

I know I'm late, but bang bang bangity-bangs. Side-swept bangs and sort-of bangs are for middle schoolers who listen to regina spektor and middle-ages real estate agents who may or may not also listen to regina spektor. Full on bangs are for real women, dammit!

I know I'm late, but bang bang bangity-bangs. Side-swept bangs and sort-of bangs are for middle schoolers who listen to regina spektor and middle-ages real estate agents who may or may not also listen to regina spektor. Full on bangs are for real women, dammit!

FUCK yes.

FUCK yes.

See, Jon Hamm is like my platonic crush. He's a cool guy and all, but is almost too perfect looking to be any good in the sack. I just want to gallavant around the city blasting Pavement with the windows down with him.

See, Jon Hamm is like my platonic crush. He's a cool guy and all, but is almost too perfect looking to be any good in the sack. I just want to gallavant around the city blasting Pavement with the windows down with him.

My weird crushes of the week are Richard Belzer and the 64 year old near-blind man who comes into my work dressed like a homeless intellectual from the 90s. Also, Jarvis Cocker, but that one's not weird, and not only this week's.

My weird crushes of the week are Richard Belzer and the 64 year old near-blind man who comes into my work dressed like a homeless intellectual from the 90s. Also, Jarvis Cocker, but that one's not weird, and not only this week's.

I've made a jalapeno-pepper margarita before that's shock-and-awesome. The hardest part is infusing the booze.

I've made a jalapeno-pepper margarita before that's shock-and-awesome. The hardest part is infusing the booze.

I go between Johnny Walker Black, J&B, and Glenlivet. Decent enough for the price if you're drinking it a few or more times a week.