I, for one, was hoping for a ZMF cameo in the Chrysler spot.

You forget Texas' sizeable hipster population. Seriously, almost every hipster asshat I know is from Dallas or Houston. I actually don't know anyone in Austin.

Annoying assholes ARE the guys who get to date all the girls. Where have you been?

ahemNEAR meahem

Damnit.
Nowhere need me. I need things to do other than popping pills and loitering at AV Club.

Only parts of that comment made any sense.

I'M STILL WOOZY FROM THE PAINKILLERS I TAKE TO MAKE THE SORROW FADE AWAY!

FUCK YEAH WOULD THAT EVER OWN

Better yet, make the statue out of weed. Unfortunately, taking pieces of it would become a stoner pastime. And it would be illegal.

Yes, Corey. Jealous. At least you're getting laid.

Altavista?

How much fuck appear TV naked?

Just because MPDG is a character type doesn't mean it can't be done well. She's more fleshed-out than most MPDGs but it's the rest of the film itself that subverts that role, not necessarily the character.

I'm almost always alone, Valentine's Day or not. Hooray?

Not as good as avclubs.com, but still weird.

Everybody, go to onionavclub.com right now. I dare you.

But that would be … racist? somehow?

The A.V. Club likes this.

*SPOILER ALERT?*

…Except "The Bronze Robocop" doesn't rhyme.