Everyone who hates Drew Barrymore needs to see Grey Gardens. First the original doc, then the HBO movie. Didn't think she could pull it off, but somehow she does.

I posted the link to the actual press release (complete with bullshit "quotes" from Pat Wilson and some dude from Hurley) yesterday.

But, Neologista, aren't we all Weezer fans?

Further Adventures In Press Releases
Fuck this shit, why hasn't this been snarked on yet?
Or has it and I was out sick that day?

Or like her face was beat up by a basketball game.

It exists. It's just really fucking hard to find bras. Under $100. Where's Oprah when I need her?

I liked the piano as well, and the "Elliott Smith lives" was a nice touch.

Yeah it happens. She really can't be that big tho… in all seriousness I'm a 28G and have trouble not looking like some sort of behemoth breasts. When you someone motorboat it.

If you make me laugh and call me a pretty pretty princess, I'm all yours.

Ben Folds. Rockin' the Suburbs.
Slayer still wins.

(NO COMEDY PLEASE)

It's like, how much more bad can it be? And the answer is none. None more bad.

Hipster Dbag, in your defense, I live in ye olde Middle Amurrca and 95% of Protestants are total buzzkills. Except that here they're more like 70% of the total pop, so we get odd crossbreeds like Christian hipsters. Shudder.

And then he has to bring up Toddlers and Tiaras and say the Jersey Shore cast drinks and screws excessively "like narcissistic five-year-olds."

If this is a kids' movie, it's gonna suck balls.
But if it's a real-people movie, with kids cussing and heisting and drinking and shit…who knows. That shit could have some real entertainment value there. As well as a come-on for NAMBLA.

ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER, BITCHES.

Bite away. It's not like the man made Chinatown or anything…

Another Metaphor
Diablo Cody: the Owl City of screenwriting?

I would watch the shit out of that. Seriously.

I smells a Inventory: "Nine Least Essential Criterion Collection DVDs…And One That's Just Bullshit."