Bend over and I'll show you.

Wow, nominated for a Tony at 12! That's the kind of award you put on your mantel, just like your self-framed award for one free video rental at Blockbuster.

Adults can be incorrigible scamps, unfortunately adults who are incorrigible scamps tend to be people like Timothy McVeigh and the Unibomber…and possibly Mickey Rooney.

Jesus Christ it was a fucking joke. If you can't see the inherent absurdity in the ridiculously reverent encomiums to a run-of-the-mill, profit-obsessed, corporatist shill then maybe you should move over to the WSJ and NYT comment threads with the other self-righteous assholes.

Finally, the erection jokes I came to this thread to read.

Mrs. Lilly, are you trying to seduce me?

The lack of viruses on Apple has nothing to do with the quality of their product but rather simple numbers. Apple has less than 10% of the market share for computers, PCs have over 80% of the market share for computers. Hackers, not being morons, write their viruses for the system with the most users in order to have…

So based on your logic of there being lots of snide jokes about his death, you would agree that for Hitler, judging by the number of Hitler jokes that work their way into the comments on any given week, that "we all will miss his vision - if not always his frighteningly messianic way of realizing it."

Absolute gibberish. Thanks for reminding everyone why the Youtube comment sections suck.

If the Chinese workers didn't want to commit suicide, they shouldn't have accepted Job's generous job offer of 92 cents a day and all the rare earth metal fumes they could store in their lungs.

No it's even more nightmarish to Jobs, they only use free, open source Ubuntu Linux on which anyone with moxy and know-how can create software without being vetted and forced to pay large fees to the Ubuntu upper management. Truly hell.

Wonkette is pretty fantastic. Their liveblogs of the Republican presidential debates have simultaneously been the most hilarious and most insightful commentary of them that I've read.

Better hurry up and find her then. Eliot Spitzer's probably already hired a detective agency to hunt her down and proposition her.

Thankfully presidential candidate Rick Perry does care about them, why, he even says he named his favorite vacation spot after them.

I think we can all agree that we must do whatever we can to help this woman out in her fight for economic justice…in exchange for sexual favors.

He should have rebutted the charge by going the H.P. Lovecraft route, and having absolutely no women in his work except ones that turn out to be (evil) men.

There's an error in the first sentence, I believe the end should read, "the painful departure of Heidi Klum’s shit, Project Runway, in 2009."

That is not the newswire he's looking for.

"Wilbur! Burn down your house with your wife in it for the homeowners insurance and life insurance."

I guess there are two kinds of people in the world: those who find any movie can be redeemed by having a bitchy old woman have a gun shoved in her face and then have their oxygen cut off, and those that don't.