So does this banjo album finally make Steve Martin worse than Hitler, if those Pink Panther movies didn't?

If Chester Cheetah and the Burger King (oh god stay away from me!) ever team up they'll create a team of evil unmatched since Zombie Hitler teamed up with Vampire Mao in the mid-70's.

The TV trailer mentions it being Bridget Jones meets Fargo, or some other such nonsense. Does that me we can look forward to Renee Zellwegger's leg sticking out of a wood chipper towards the end. I would pay a few bucks to see that.

When I first heard the title for this movie I was hoping it was somehow related to the late 80's NES game of the same title. I obviously was hoping for way too much,

It's funny because I have been in that alley to solicit those same women's services, of course, it had nothing to do with cardio per se, but it was cheap! Oh and I have AIDs now.

Oh man! This role was simply made for me. I just need to give myself a good shave, tuck my genitals back with some duct tape and I'll be good to go. Umm…the character is supposed a 7th grade girl that's 6'5" with an adam's apple, right?

It's a shame that TO didn't manage to fit in "The children! Won't somebody please think of the children!" during that crying jag.

At least he didn't lose a testicle. That would have been much more traumatic.

Chris Martins are you really Chris Martin and that's why you're bringing up Coldplay in this review? I know it is. The same sort of person that would name their kid Apple is the kind of person who would add an s to the end of their name to disguise their identity.

They couldn't have gotten Amelie to write a short post on what she hates? Boo! I have to say I agree with Nathan Rabin about poetry and I have a freakin' MA in English literature. Like him I have been to open mic poetry nights at a coffee, shop which I am pretty sure would have been enough to turn even Emily Dickinson…

David Fincher should have the courage to step up and say that Benjamin Button was shit, not worthy any nominations, except maybe for effects or set design, and then commit ritual suicide a la Yukio Mishima for betraying and failing in an artistic endeavor so horribly.

I'm pretty sure the soldiers at the end are the people that originally broadcasted the recording of the numbers from the island around the WWII era or a little bit past there. Hurley mentions that they were soldiers and at least one of them was from Australia since he went there to get an explanation about the…

I think I'll stick with my usual drinking game, where every time the clock strike noon I start drinking continuously for the next 12 hours.

To make this a better country I pledge to stop sticking my member through gloryholes where I don't know what's on the other side. It would be a national tragedy if something happened to my junk and I couldn't have children!

I really would have liked that promo paragraph to end with, "Sike! They did one show down at Jimmy Trombone's Bar and Grill during the open mic night, where they were booed off the stage. Approx Running Time : 12 min."

Their polygamists beliefs actually seem much more creepy when they talk about it in a religious instead of just enjoying lots of fucking way. I really need to get some of these polygamists together and offer them a free Scientology stress test down at my center.

I'm really looking forward to the seeing how Emmerich handles the scene where the president of the foundation engages in a kung fu battle with the spawn of mechagodzilla and the saucer men from Mars. Not every director could handle a fight scene of such ambiguity and symbolism, but I think Emmerich might just be able…

To quote Sigmund Freud, "You must kill zem, kill zem all…"

Looks like Warner Bros. should have gotten Harvey Birdman to represent them. After all, he does have power of attorney.

If nothing else we won't have to worry about too many more horrible Kevin James comedies if his massive weight gain is any indication…and if somebody would be nice enough to introduce him to the joy of cocaine…