Who cares who the next POTUS is going to be, it's all about who the next KOTAATFMLOTSKAPOTR is!

Spaceships on the reg. Shootin' Xenomorphs on the reg. Fuckin' robot bitches on the reg. Basically all the shit that most guys fantasize about.

I just don't get it, what's their ankle?

Oh, look at sweet Macklemore, sitting on his cloud of judgment, handing out life lessons to all the sinners.

I'm thinking part 1 is for you then.

Hopefully a majority of the messages are, "Bee's nutz!"

"I need to set an example for all the female rappers out there, but those bitches better know their place cause I'm #1." - Nicki's thought process

Triangle!

It's that guy! Throw your phones at that guy!

I was going more for Paul Scheer's crawdad man bit from The League, but I like the Offspring too.

I was wandering the wasteland when I engaged some bloatflies and attempted to use my V.A.T.S. system. Time slowed down, but on this occasion it was a much more gradual transition; while at the same time a pin point of bright, white light appeared at the center of my vision. As time slogged more and more slowly, the…

Oh, you gotta keep 'em separated. You gotta keep 'em separated or they're going to eat themselves!

I see Mike Myers is gearing up for the live action Shrek movie.

It's the differences… of which there are none, that make the sameness… exceptional!"

First question on the application: "Have you ever had experience being funny?"

Great job, internet! You took what some consider the most intolerable parts of Rick and Morty and combined them together!

Rubus Hagrod!

As a white person I'm completely pro-Idris Elba, but one of my black friends supports Tom Hardy as the next Bond, with his main argument being that Bond has been, and should continue to be, white…

Something about how Pop Tarts make you less likely to be obese.

I guess I'm being old fashioned when my feelings of empathy are dependent on context then…