Don't worry guys. It doesn't work anyway.

I'm going to use this opportunity to try out the new feature on which we are commenting and then quickly regret it.

That is indeed disturbing, Jay. There really needs to be a comments section on that article.

Hmm
All this time I thought that whole "connect to Facebook" thing was a joke since as far as I can tell it doesn't do anything except change the icon to "disconnect from Facebook". Any chance we'll get something like Facebook's "notifications" to tell you when someone comments after you?

I'm an unrepentant ICP fan, though I haven't listened to anything they've done since around 2000, so I probably don't qualify as a true Juggalo. When I was in high school I listened to them all the time, you know why? They're music is really fun. Hate on them all you want, I've heard it all before, but nothing changes…

Oh yes. I've seen it many times, but I think his "This is bullshit" story is more appropriate for my reaction when my stolen wireless connection goes out.

Not to sound like a dick…
…but would you like some cheese with that whine?

It's been four hours since someone brought up "Houseguest" and somehow no one has mentioned Phil Hartman. I guess it's up to me: Phil Hartman.

Caught off guard
Damn you, AV Club! I had all sorts of good comments prepared for this weeks ago, but now that I've forgotten them all I'll just have to settle for:

@Dark Passengerside Airbag: I like the video (it sucks that the audio is disabled, though), do you know if they've done anything else with this "JollyFilter"? I thought I was up on all MST3K related news, but this is the first I've heard of it.

Thanks Silly and Tasha, I might reconsider if I feel like reading something (relatively) light.

Dexter's one of my favorite shows and I've read the first two books. The first book (Darkly Dreaming Dexter) is very similar to the first season of the show, but they did make a few improvements in the pacing and plotting on the show. It's still a good read, but not much to offer anyone who's seen the show and is…

@Emperor Jim: I couldn't agree more. Though I never got around to Mulholland Drive (are the lesbian scenes worth it?). Apparently, the thread I started for discussing his work being overrated has been deleted. They must have thought it was unnecessary because we can all agree on that.

I don't have anything to add, I just want to say that I can relate to and agree with what Andy Capp says. Those sure are the darkest times and I've long thought a 24-hour Simpsons channel was a good idea, but I never thought about the lives it would save.

Say yah to da UP, eh?
Nabin, you're so close, and yet so far. I know you can't go everywhere, but wouldn't it be original to come up to the UP? It's not far from the windy city and we don't get too many celebrities up here. I met Al Franken, Carrot Top, Ralph Nader, and Jimmy Walker on separate occasions here, but…

@i and 1: I had a friend who eventually dropped out who sometimes spent lunch drinking vodka in his car. I joined him a few times and he'd give me some for "the road". And it didn't mix well, it was just that you couldn't tell which was more gut-rotting, the Surge or the vodka. My stomach was a lot sturdier back…

Thanks.

Deja vu?
Either I'm experiencing Deja Vu or this is some kind of joke because I swear I read this exact piece here a few weeks back. I just searched for "Short Circuit" and it didn't come up. I'm confused. It would be a good joke if it really is a rerun, what with it being about remakes and lack of originality.

Ahh, Surge…
…it's arrival coincided perfectly with my discovery of alcohol. More specifically my discovery that you could buy a bottle of Surge incredibly cheap at the party store by my high school during lunch, mix it with vodka and bring it back to school with you to make the last few hours more bearable and…

I feel a certain satisfaction in being deemed "First" by the AV Club Gods based on merit rather than by the blind luck or desperately flawed sense of priorities that normally garners one the title, but now I wish I'd said something more worthy of the honor.