The correct answer
"I had absolutely nothing to do with those, and I think the less that's said about them, the better. They weren't good, and they certainly weren't important to me. By the time they came along, I had much better things to do."

Armageddon in Retrospect. Not needed. Except the letter to his family.

And at this point he's aged enough that he doesn't need make-up for the later, radioactive-melting scenes.

The Central Allegory
Anal-raping-with a gun brings us closer to accepting fate. Honestly, not wildly inaccurate.

"a fair quotient of at least some form of rock"
Will there be "a fair quotient of at least some form of pretension?" BWHAHAHAHA.

The Blue-Eyed guy photo
Rush Limbaugh or someone's wang? You decide, true believers.

Don't you mean…up?

Current, Shore, current. That's what I liked about it.

Sorry boys, standing by it. Maybe they're better in small venues, but with the exception of the teenage girl contingent, we weren't buying it.

They are God-awful Live
Saw them at Great Blue Heron a couple years back. Unspeakably bad. And I was on Mushrooms, which made me tolerant of everything else that wasn't food.

Unspeakably terrible
I give Marion Jones a great deal of credit, as that her personality alone won me over when I was predisposed to dislike her: On the heels of her full responsibility speech (shown) was her begging the judge not to imprison her because she had young kids (not shown). However, she seems honest and…

And now…
I will point out that we'd really rather just see another season of Party Down. By the way, there's a lot of mileage to be made out of the quote: "We want it so bad. We could do it for no money, no time. We would do it for free. I just don't know if we're legally allowed to do it." But I'm tired.

Alright, who wants some? Who wants a little? You. You with the wings. You want a little? Huh?

I have to go with ZMF here. I've played a fair amount of Metal Gear due to nerd-hectoring and always been disappointed. The radio signal search in MGS4 was the stupidest 15 minutes of my life.

Not a porn, you say?
Nor a documentary about the formation of the universe?

Morse code or a friend of Black Bolt? The choice is yours, America!

Rubix cube convention

But they can offer points on the back end!!!

Follow the original script
Brett Ratner has brought us a poisoned apple. Push a boulder on him. END.

Oh, there'll be titties. [SHUDDER]