Air Bud is my generation's Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch.

So you're saying you don't take her to a Sybarus Pool Suite, present her with a box of chocolates, insert your flaccid wang and then pull out before it gets hard and makes her pregnant?

I can just picture him screaming, "Collect the heads of little girls and put 'em on my wall" while hammering his lats on a Bowflex machine like a fucking dork.

Somebody make this fucking movie already. Sorkin's already working on a script for a biopic about Charles D. Tandy, the visionary behind the Tandy home computer series of the 70s and 80s.

No, New York people tell jokes like this: "Subways. Urine. Everybody laugh now!"

Cobain built a legacy on copying the shit out of Jett. You know, with the guitar-playing and the singing—into a microphone no less.

Do You Want to Rape Me?

The news today will be the movies of tomorrow a little bit later today. —Arthur Lee

This settlement reflects the growing collaborative dialogue between our two companies on important opportunities, and we look forward to working more closely together, a Senior PR Executive dictated into his smartphone as his Asian boyservant poured hot wax onto his back.

I demand immaculate audio quality whilst being inadvertently molested on an overcrowded train that alternately breaks down and goes express every five minutes during my morning commute. Particularly if I'm listening to the warbled early recordings of Robert Johnson.

I may watch so as not to miss a late-night, white-zinfandel-infused recounting of the breezy summer night that Zack Morris tenderly deflowered her.

Sometimes I forget that movie stars are just like us.

Yeah I'm doing the same shit. But I'm accidentally falling in love with money. I'm scared.

"Non-contiguous states are wack as fuck."

I just hope the impasse between the Jay-Z Commonwealth and the Republic of Drake finds a peaceful resolution.

Dude, does it make a difference? Everything this man does is art.

Edited for making the same shitty joke as Lemon of Troy. So any downvotes apply here, too.

Again I'm reminded of how lucky I am that I mostly just watch Mike and Molly. I don't love the fact that it's turned me into a fat cop, but clearly there are some devastating alternatives.

The genius of Soundgarden is their versatility. They excel in both hard rock and metal, as evidenced by their Grammys for each in 1994. That they were awarded for songs on the same album just totally blows my face off.

Cobain's hologram tries to trash the shelves, but his arms go right through them.