Ladies, I'll be dropping Yellowish Hanes Full-Cut Briefs just in time for the holidays, so stay tuned.

Oh come on. Meet the Fockers was Hoffman's best comedy since Rainman.

This is the one where everyone acts cool, right? Like they wear sunglasses and lean on things and maybe nod and say, "Hey."

"A little bit of Yellow 6 in my turds."

Ahhhh. It's starting to feel like the "old" A.V. Club again around here!

Even this pixelated representation of their love is more profound than anything I could ever hope to understand.

So if I understand correctly, Robert Belushi is Jim Belushi's Jim Belushi—a watered-down, less talented double, but of his father instead of, uh, his uncle John.

How uncontested was this firstie? You're already reaping the benefits of the redesign and you don't even know it. The cookie jar has fallen from the counter and shattered on the kitchen floor—eat up, my friend.

Fuck it. I'm moving to Canada. And this time I'm fucking serious.

I'm partial to Tony's, from my grocer's freezer. It's frozen but it's made by an Italian guy named Tony. In Italy that's short for Anthony.

Followed by the picture book Hit and Kech Basball.

With the decline of pensions, my post-career blueprint appears to be burning in the flames of hell, where Adam Levine and Robin Thicke perform an eternal duet that propels me down an infinite rapids of insanity.

"Let's see, what do we have here. Trail mix, a morning after pill, and a copy of Flowers for Algernon? Nice gift basket, asshole."

Time to raise the bar a little: in his next role, I'd like to see him struggle with both addiction and semi-retardation.

It's almost guaranteed that a generic Broadway chorus of suspender-wearing streetsweepers, doing their obligatory broom dance, will sing that line.

Oh shit. Sly is your dad.

Now if only someone would program this robot to love.

Vagina-smeared windshields are even less sexy in the context of vehicular manslaughter, believe me.

Is that a metaphor for seeing Jerry Maguire at a drive-in?

What I like about ironing boards is that they don't talk back.