Can't say I'm surprised. We Americans, particularly those of us who watch TV, just aren't ready to embrace the idea of getting rich by doing not a goddamn thing.

Do it! Internet-punch the shit out of him and e-break his jaw!

If Garcia thinks the show's fart jokes are making a splash…

Hey, I think it would be kind of cool if the monster 1) cracks wise and 2) doesn't take any shit. Like what if, instead of saying "Fire bad," he says, "Fire good," just before blowing up a fucking tank? I'd probably choke on my Junior Mints but it would totally be worth it.

Clearly you have no idea how lightning works.

You guys—politics, society.

I could cite a few hundred websites as references (believe me), but I'm sure that would violate the terms of use here.

Agreed. Adding "Puts Cocaine Up Her Butt" would have made the headline more exclusive to Nicks.

Once every 12 minutes, someone dies in a car accident, and Franco releases a work of art.

The Kurt Cobain hologram has reportedly chained himself to the front porch in protest. In vain, of course, as the bulldozers will go right through him.

Good lord. I can't imagine my childhood bedroom being preserved for public viewing (and not only because I can't imagine achieving fame for teaching business writing and saying dumb things on the internet).

Especially where he's like, "JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say?"

"From a Distance" - Bette Midler
"Lasagna" - Weird Al

The interlude before "Squeeze Me Macaroni" would be an instant mood-killer.

Yes, and it makes for a particularly bad sex jam, I find, when you start ad-libbing, "Do you realize—that I have the most—beautiful cock."

More like Boner Kill, amirite?

It must have been particularly awkward when you found yourself thrusting rhythmically to the chorus.

"We Didn't Start the Fire" is actually a great song to bang to, provided that—and this is important—you are doing her in the butt.

Damnit!

It will be similar to MIA's performance, but instead of lifting her finger, she'll get her face lifted.