1. They strip to Pere Ubu.

Caveat: only strippers with talking vaginas are allowed to go fully nude.

Weiland also has rights to any heroin relapses his ex-bandmates experience.

No cupcake could ever talk its way out of Seagal's weird pubic mouth.

The wig from his Eddie Munster costume.

With each day he looks more and more like a shitty magician.

Yep, they're sitting on top of Andy Griffith.

New Criticism up in this ho!

Wait, do you mean that you'd stuff her corpse in a steel drum and dump it in the river, or that you'd flay her and stretch her skin tautly over a hollow wooden vessel?

Ah, yes. In my day we called it clapping.

Most Milwaukee cops are obese German-Americans. In fact the Milwaukee PD was the first to purchase a fleet of Rascals for their patrol units. Surprisingly, it's been an effective strategy: criminals apparently fear the humiliation of being tased by a fat guy on a scooter.

Tim Course!

Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Shut Up I Can't Tell You How It's Different It Just Is

I'll be there, putting the "hard" in Mike's Hard Lemonade, of which I intend to drink plenty.

Recently? Because I read that shit like three months ago.

Fun fact: the biggest natural killer of giraffes is lightning.

To be fair, all the STDs on the album were hers.

And in a mischievous twist, Axl has replaced his recent incarnation of G N' R with Linkin' Park!

A perfect example of why I respect the Chevrolet brand: they understand that "ingenuity" cannot be bound by a particular enterprise. Rather, it's a way of thinking and being that extends from shitty automobiles to shitty music

West has just announced that June 18th is not the Release Date, but rather the beginning of the Pre-Release Period, not to be confused with his recent campaign—SNL, video projections, etc.—which is part of the current Pre-Pre-Release Period.