Grown Ups 3: Ha Ha Fifteen Dollars Fuck You

More detail, please: was it a tarry stool or a healthy mahogany color?

This time they should all poop in the pool!

I see my father, but that may not be a purely aesthetic appraisal.

Yeah, he should have written twenty more songs. But hindsight is 10/10.

What is "Awww fuck no"?

I think it's the perfect impersonation of the perfect novel; I mean, it fits this grand idea of the "Great American Novel." But it's kind of boring.

Um, no.

I have difficulty understanding dramatizations of mankind's foibles not set in New York City. I'm like, "Fuck, this takes place in L.A. I can't really say one way or another whether I, too, would eat a pint of ice cream after being stood up, like this here gal. If only there were some brownstones in the background, or…

The Brooklyn accent carries with it a theatrical persona that does not fit Judas' representation in the novel. You wouldn't cast Joan Rivers as Ophelia in Hamlet (though given all the "edgy" small-company interpretations of Hamlet, I'm sure she's been portrayed as an aging Jewish comedian at least once).

Look, man, he's got note cards and an outline, and he might even type the introduction this weekend, so just back off.

Much more convincing that Keitel's Judas, holy shit. That Brooklyn accent is a constant reminder that everybody's just pretending to be in ancient Jerusalem. And it evokes a black-and-white sensibility that doesn't really suit such a conflicted figure.

@avclub-152cc7bd380aa7ddee2fb624d87228b1:disqus If he was intimidating then it definitely wasn't House of Pain.

It sounds like he's probably dead.

Throw in Mario Lopez and you've got yourself a real "box of Massengill," as the old idiom goes.

"You bitches all owe me a life-debt! All of you. I'm Qui Gon and you're all a buncha fuckin' Jar Jars! Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me."

My Sweet Sith Lord

I apply all of the techniques abovelisted, and then brush my asshole with Crest Pro Health, disinfect it with Bactine, and splash it with Old Spice.

I guess this ends…

As someone who took out a huge student loan to purchase Joseph Fiennes' codpiece from Shakespeare in Love, I can assure everyone here that the new owner of Ms. Lawrence's garments will not regret his decision.