I've tried to explain the Taco Bell Bell to my husband.  Eventually I just showed him a couple threads where he (she?) shows up.

I quit my first job out of college without anything lined up… it was a pretty special circumstance.  I was spending an inordinate amount of time crying in my car in between client visits.  I spoke with my parents beforehand and explained how miserable I was, and how the job afforded hardly any time for a personal…

WHY is it whenever I reserve a conference room (with plenty of notice, mind you!), some derp manager is all: "Lol wtf are you doing, I need this room for my Big Manager Meeting so get the hell out."
Oh SURE.  How silly of me, thinking I could use a conference room to talk to our new hires about their benefits plan.

Playing outside (literally, going outside for a walk or run).  I don't bring my phone.  No one can bother me.  Everyone has to leave me alone, mostly because I am running away.

OH DEAR GOD NO.  Those are really bad.  They taste like a Yankee Candle (I'm assuming).

Pumpkin actually doesn't taste like anything - just the spices that are added to it.

What up, y'all?

YES

The first thing that happened to me this morning was someone shambling into my office with the following two complaints:

Same!  I'm required to attend a Surprise Nacho Wedding Shower for a colleague.

I seriously cannot unhear his voice.

He'd be kind of an awesome Alfred, in about 15 more years…

Oh, Dik.  Everything's not always about unspeakable ball torture, you know.

The Lincoln Squirrel has been assassinated!

STOP.

Lane Pryce in Pete Campbell's Punch Out

Roger Sterling = Zapp Brannigan

Ladies want a Dick on the toilet and a Don in the streets.

Boooooooooooo!

An insightful comment, if I've ever seen one.