America's Funniest Home Videos is fucking hilarious. The video parts, I mean. The written stuff is obviously all garbage, and the videos they choose for the Final Three are never any good, but watch a video of a fat guy being dragged across a beach by a parasail and try not to laugh. It's impossible!

Why would someone with a doctorate spend their time writing about the "significance" of a Kardashian pregnancy? Who gives a shit?

Chelsea Peretti had an interesting take on it, I think. She was talking about how she won't do period jokes because that's when people expect when they hear "female comic." However, if men had periods, that would be all that male comics would ever talk about.

Don't forget about steam-cleaning and wasp's nests.

A.K.A. The Nuge-sistrata

Naked and Afraid

That would be awesome. C'mon, gals! Let's burn down our local frats and the corporate offices of Axe Bodyspray!

White women in cornrows are considered "cool"? And here I was all this time thinking they looked like idiots who just got off of a cruise ship.

Are you sure you're not thinking of Jesse Eisenberg? It's an easy mistake.

Give him time. He's barely started puberty yet.

It's a very sexy learning disorder.

"President Trump is the most alive president of all time. No president was ever any more alive."

But Trump does suffer from sexlexia.

One of my favorite tropes.

I'M NOT WEARING A TIE AT ALL.

What if you're quoting Richard Pryor?

It's almost like Ice Cube hasn't changed and is still sexist as fuck.

And The Fall are playing this Summer.

I would've been happier with the Bitcoin.

Their other big Goldstein should be Al.