Relax churchy. I meant Jesus, the Mexican guy down the street. I can lift way more than he can.

As a side note…
…I'm bigger than Jesus.

I continue my reality tv boycott
until Outback Jack makes his triumphant return.

Can we use this opportunity…
…to talk about how horrible that movie was.

*sticks cock in yogurt and rolls around in granola to make the patented "Cage good-start breakfast"*

Objection, your Honor.

Isn't saying "christian fiction" like saying "fiction fiction?"
And isn't saying "christian non-fiction" like saying "I replaced my brain with duck butter?"

Drink every time Flash Gordon uses his quaterbacking skills to battle the evil Emperor Ming.

Hey, shit-for-brains, we already know that one is doomed. That "hot chick" was makin' out with that red-headed guy from Band of Brothers at the end of the series.

*shivers*

I heard Bieber spawned from the anal cavity of Paris Hilton following forced penetration by the VD infested this guy:

Hey
Want to know what else ruins relationships?

*tears up*

WTF is bran?
And why does it make me poop so much?

They terk ourr jreoobbs!!
.

Shitty shit sells a lot of shit all the time. Doesn't make it good.

Better late than never, indeed
Can't think of another trilogy where watching in order is so unnecessary.

Why is Mississippi
the worst state?

Mississippi sucks so much.

Stoner comedy = stoned plus you're a fucking moron.