Right this minute, I have the sexual choice of left or right hands. Or I would if I weren't in a library.

I'm picturing a Hot Pocket in one hand, and a Snapple in the other.

During a high school trip to Washington DC, a group of us saw Greta Van Susteren reporting from the Supreme Court and spent the next 15 minutes or so trying to get in a shot. Funny how I remember that but don't remember meeting John Glenn on the same trip.

I think the AV Club is making up bands now.

http://media.tumblr.com/tum…

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

I can't wait to eat those monkeys!

Plepler leaks advance screeners to Todd VanDerWerff, who publishes them on the A.V. Club

Yesterday I woke up at a lemon party

So I guess you don't like Chipotle then.

Someone once asked me for a suggestions on good winter music, and I said Kid A. Turns out she meant Christmas music.

Not to mention the Nickelback prison cafeteria.

The next day's meal starts off with a course of sardines, and also includes one of the same dishes as Kid A, but using a vastly inferior recipe.

Well, yuzu is a citrus fruit, which is probably the closest that this meal comes to being relevant.

Pictured above: Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam (L), Senator Bob Corker and Grover Norquist fight to derail union representation for Volkswagen

Two minutes after the final course, the waiter comes back with another small serving of mousse.

"I love you."

Of course they've made Squidward's button:

I went to private school until I was 10 and had to wear a uniform. After I transferred to public school and had to wear my own awful clothes, I wished I still had to wear a uniform.

Hey wiener boy, where do you think you're goin'?