Wombles will kick Rupert the fucking bear's arse. And then put him neatly in a rubbish bin, and wipe away the bloodstains.

You send me that, and I'll send you the final season of Ghost Whisperer, motherfucker. And force you to watch every dribbling, pus-stained minute of that shit, in a Clockwork Orange stylee.

No, but Zombie Corey Haim is.

They are charging upwards of 100 a time to see some very elderly people stumbling around the stage and forgetting the words to Jumpin' Jack Flash.

Cyclops - you want the Wolverine/Blossom crossover. Now that's what I call a Very Special Episode.

I have no idea what the fuck Family Circus is, but that article made me laugh till it damn near hurt. Whatever Family Circus may be, I suspect that Mr O'Neal does not care for it.

Hey, what's wrong with the Year One guys? Aykroyd says they wrote a 'very serviceable comedy and I think they'll make their money back.' I'm inspired just reading that!

Pixie Lott?
Seriously? In what kind of demented bizarro universe was this considered a good career move for her? I'd love to know the reasoning behind her appearance in this movie. Or anyone's, for that matter. As Dennis Hopper once said, no one needs shoes THAT badly.

There must be some kind of medal for this sacrifice, surely? I salute you, ma'am.

Moby Zombie Dick.

Lucas hasn't directed a good movie since 1977, and was at least partly responsible for Howard the Duck, Jar Jar Binks and motherfucking ewoks.

If tomorrow's AV Club doesn't have grades and an in-depth review of every movie in that collection, I'm going to feel cheated

This gets cancelled at the same time as Lara Flynn Boyle gets a reality show
Coincidence? I don't think so!

The same way the same person can be in Midnight Cowboy, Catch-22 and Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, I guess.

For The Love Of God, Eat Some Food, Woman!
Might as well make that the title, because that's what everyone's going to be shouting at the screen anyway. The woman's pretty much a skull on a stick these days.

That's a tough school.

It's somewhere else on the AV Club, but I can't be bothered to find out where. Involves pasting explosions and Lamborghinis into otherwise dull photographs. It's a lot less entertaining than it sounds.

Yeah, all movies should be about poverty and war and unemployment. Anything else is just trivial and not worth making. Fight the power!

LSD - it's a hell of a drug!

Thirded on the crapness of Session 9. Should have been a really good, or at least really weird movie. instead we just get Caruso being a dick and a plot that makes no frigging sense. More than anything I hate movies that give the illusion they're going to be good, and then are really poor.