Any chance Frank Ocean will appear onstage to sing his version of "Hotel California" at any of these venues?

Will there be a eruption countdown clock in the corner like on "24"?

Meanwhile, the original Aunt Viv dies a little more inside.

Affleck to New Zealand: "Nobody puts Anna Faris' tits in a corner…nobody."

As opposed to Leno, who's nothing but a chin and your grandfather's joke book.

How did Ice Cube go from the nigga you love to hate to the nigga who coaches your kid's soccer team?

I hear it's one of the venues.

Keeping the black man down, as usual.

That's the reason why there was no Mad Men in 2011, Jon Hamm's penis wouldn't  take a meeting.

Terry Crews was good on "Everybody Hates Chris", but he didn't shine until he was in those Old Spice commercials.

Oh, did I mistake them for some other annoying band that gained its popularity on a defunct social networking site?

This band is still a thing? Thanks myspace…

Can't you make the same argument for "Family Guy", it's a cartoon on a historically idiotic network, who cares?  Seems kind of weird for the Onion to continually play the comedic high ground card after what was said about Quvenzhané Wallis…

But tying this episode to the Oscars takes attention away from someone calling a nine-year-old a cunt.  You got to have a pretty big sack to call out  MacFarlane for trying to hide behind a "vile and detestable worldview with the thin defense that he knows those opinions are deplorable" after that fiasco.

Friday, Friday

I'll take the Lazarus pit over another issue #1 retelling the origin story again…

Selena will blame Beiber.

He's no Teller.

This was a great issue, a shame it will be all undone as no one stays dead in comics. That, or in either yet another company wide reboot.

Chinese Spike Lee is fuming…