He's Carnage! They're totally setting up Carnage!

"FUCK MIKE AND MOLLY!" does nothing but make me imagine Mike and Molly fucking.

Hip, hip! Hooray!
Hip, hip! Hooray!
Hip, hip! Hooray!

Closer
(oooh wah wooo)
I faked my own death in Korea

I have met Christopher Guest (I went to college with his daughter) and I suppose yes, most people are surprised that is a "dick". But it's really unfair to expect that comedians are hilarious in their personal life. Are his movies good? Yes? Then who cares?

"Republican"?

Nobody's made a "troll toll" joke yet?

These fucking subway ads
Are the most annoying shit ever.

Boardwalk Empire?
You brought her!

"Getting one's head pressed" sound like slang for getting a blowjob from Rutger Hauer.

Is it me or is the whole "I'm more mature than you and you're 32" thing insulting?

I always hate myself when confronted with the fact that I would totally go out of my way to have sex with her.

There is no granting of small, stupid joy. There is only CANCERAIDS!

I mean, there's Roger but that's a faux pas because they're both married now.

I just consider it a handicap. Keeps things fair, you know?

"Two reichs too late" for your purposes.

Yes.

You have wasted your life.

Men want to go to bed with Katy and wake up with Zooey.

Wasn't that song about Warren Beatty?