Because Jersey Shore is a fantastic, nuanced portrait of real people facing real issues and navigating the power relationships and statuses of their youth, this is fanfic as someone else said.

5 seasons of this shit?
Why are American shows always so insufferably drawn out! I watched the first season and it was alright in a lowbrow century-city-circlejerk kind of way and then stopped watching it, the dramatic arc was resolved and the characters had run their course.