First!
I want one too.

Smokey the Unnameable
Cyclopean Jim Johnson
Gibbering Billy Riggs

Is it? Lovercraft wrote a couple stories set in the swampy south and the Deep South and Appalachia seem to resonate much better with Lovecraft's themes of rural decay than the overdeveloped New England regions.

You shouldn't if your just going to shit on Shaq.

Maybe Sean can pimp Shaq's new film on the newswire, Dawes-style.

It's also legal almost everywhere to shoot people in self-defense. I'm talking Most Dangerous Game type shit.

Die like a girl.

Okay, sounds fun. I'll be over at eleven with chips.

And you born after murdering Aborigines was made illegal. Life's rough dude.

You just had to go for that third comment, didn't you? And look where you've ended up. A dirty, low-down, no-good double poster. Kids, don't bite off more than you can chew.

Nobody wants to watch that depressing crap, much like nobody wanted to see movies about the neocon's mishandling of the War on Terror. Society's problems will never be successfully confronted by popular media.

May you experience the "ravages of Reaganomics".

This list isn't just funny…
…it's eerily close to reality. Seriously, half of these could become a real franchise just as described and nobody would blink. Nicely done A. V. Club. This was a very accurate and well-made parody and I laughed several times as I read it.

CancerAids: The Multimedia Entertainment System

You're a funny guy Lupin. That is why I will rape you last.

I'm pregnant!

Nah, it's still broken. Here's a good army analogy.

It's because you said the Buk is the n***er of the world.

Bender, I would absolutely love to read a compilation of Kerouac's novels.

You just got owned son!