YOU TAKE THIS ENTIRE PREMISE BACK RIGHT NOW, YOU CANADIAN HARLOT! PARIS GELLER IS A PRINCE AMONG MEN, NOT A FUCKING CHEETO FLAVORED USED CONDOM.

Darren Nichols went back to the Berlin Philharmonic. They understand him there.

Seriously. I grew up in MA, then lived in Minnesota for a few years before returning. MA winters have some cold snaps, but Boston especially tends to have a pretty mild winter for the northern part of the country. It's not, like, Washington DC, but it's not even northern Indiana.

Oh buzz off Connecticut. Your name belies your nature as a waystation for actual people doing actual things. You're barely even New England, and you're the reason the train takes forever to get to NYC.

One of the best Onion articles ever. And I say that as a Bostonian who looks down on Philadelphia.

The cost of living in Boston is truly insane. I have friends with houses in the midwest that cost a third of my rent.

They're just jealous. It's understandable, Touchdown Tom is pretty dreamy.

And nowadays you can get a great bahn mi on Dot Ave. Roxbury is still deeply troubled, though. Thanks segregation and institutional racism! Glad to know you haven't abandoned Boston entirely!

Springfield getting a casino seems like a cruel joke. What's sad is that the city should be a much nicer place. At least Worcester's getting better.

Thanks Tawwmy "Mumbles" Menino!

As a 33 year old nerdy white dude, this is so far into my wheelhouse that it's made itself at home and is making it's own brand of artisanal baguette.

Not loving Cabin In The Woods is one thing. Slandering the fuck out of it by comparing it to Scary Movie is entirely another. Pistols at dawn, in Jersey (everything is legal in Jersey), Becca.

"mmp"

I'm looking forward to Seth Rollin's transition to movies when he's somewhat older.

I really enjoy Schumer, have modestly enjoyed Apatow movies, and could take or leave Hader, but LeBron having more than a single scene intrigues me. If he can manage to be half as good as Kareem in Airplane then it'll be a positive for the quality of the flick.

At least Schumer's occupation makes sense for how she and Hader meet. The first act would have needed a lot of changes to get the two leads together.

Yeah, the worm is turning. By October someone will have found something legitimately dumb she said/tweeted/wrote several years ago (or, if that's not out there, take something that when viewed out of context appears legitimately dumb) and everyone will hate her.

He was pretty good on Broadway in The Motherfucker With A Hat. It was the second lead (to a sublime Bobby Cannavale) and just a really enjoyable play.

Stop trying to make Shutdown happen, Cruz!

Bruh. That was a theory years before the books became a series.