Great Last Line
I hope that's the line that makes it into the metacritic blurb.

Wait..
…so what were the two reasons?

True. It would've been way better if he'd written "what the cock wants."

Hang on…
Is Julia Roberts in this?

You win
"Mark Ruffalo only gave himself a small part in his directorial debut, but his absence behind the camera is more keenly felt."

In the works…
A WWE film feting a large group of children putting a veteran of the ring through a bus windshield.

My two year old
laughs hysterically when I fall down. Slapstick isn't just universal, it's apparently built into the human genome.

eh?
"Simply titled Prom in the same way store-brand Rice Krispies get called "Puffed Rice Cereal…"

Wait a sec…
it is Thursday already?

This movie was boring.
And I should've known it was boring when I first read the review, because Nurray had time for his mind to wander and to think about shit like "the necessity of fakery while acknowledging that illusions can be cruel."

Interesting. So you think the point isn't "people in families like shitty movies" but "whenever a diverse demographic (such as a family) has to choose a movie, they inevitably make so many compromises to each other's tastes that they end up picking a shitty movie nobody in the family really wants to see." Much…

…or maybe he was dating his high school English teacher.

Coincidences are often ironic.

"How is this line 'elitist', Mr. SixPack?"

Nice…
Your first paragraph beats up on Ailmore's drunken simile like Donnie Yen beating up on a ventriloquist with his own dummy. And I like similes. Nicely done, Nurry.

nice!
"Dumbstruck wobbles down that line like an office worker pulled over on the way home from overindulging at happy hour."

Agree with Hammerpants…
The timing on this seems…either ironic or just bad taste. Though I don't suppose there's much the distributors could do about it.

Elitist much?
"It's the perfect release for an Easter weekend, when families nationwide will be looking for inoffensive, moderately engaging entertainment to distract them for a few hours without unduly upsetting anyone."

My God, what a review.
This movie is a lot like another movie that I hated but everyone else loved, except that this one was kind of good….The main character is kind of like the serial killer in "American Psycho," except that he isn't evil or crazy and he doesn't kill people. Also, he's not rich. But they both…

"Begins" breaks rule #2 in the Supervillain's Handbook: When you're on your way to destroy the world, DO NOT visit the one man powerful enough to stop you and set his house on fire first. (Even if it is right on the way.)