I've been calling them "Crandall"! Oh, I feel like an idiot!

Don't be cruel.

Terrible tragedy, he died after drinking floor polish. Why is it always the good ones? He could have been Pope!

He wants to do worse than waterboarding - "a lot worse". And he talked glowingly about killing POWs and desecrating their corpses as a warning to others…

Actually, all those comments came from Drumpf campaign staffers.

At the end of the Colbert appearance you could see him looking up and around the theater as if to say "Damn, this would have been nice…"

Underneath the opera?

That would be an ecumenical matter.

Dee, you goddamn plonker!

Hey, carnies built this country.

I'm ready to move on to jokes about Trump's freakishly tiny baby hands.

Well the next sentence says that they are "Sweeds" apparently.

I saw someone say that one of the reasons they respect Bernie more is because, unlike Hillary, he divorced his first spouse.

That's right, Sparks claimed this town wasn't big enough for both of them.

Just like my Malibu Stacy doll.

Settle down, Brett Ratner.

It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

So he auditioned for Elrond at "Hubbard's"?

That only started after her brother used his dog's credit card to buy her those pills.

Checkmate!