Matt Bomer is truly an assterpiece.

And then hearing Quvenzhane Wallis say "Benh Zeitlin," which I'm sure would be the single most adorable thing ever.

The people's choice awards are hardcore proof that the public will blindly love Adam Sandler no matter what he pulls out of his ass. Even loathsome father son comedies where child sexual abuse is seen as objectively awesome and incest is hilarious.

I was saying Boo-urns

Oh, yeah. I was totally talking about his, uh, acting (yeah, that's the word)!

I'm incredibly annoyed that Matthew McConaughey's ass didn't get a nomination.

Is it safe?

Is it safe?

Strippers or Drag Queens.

NOOOO, NOT TYLER! HE WAS THE CUTEST RACIST PARROT ON TELEVISION!

SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS, AND RAINBOWS!

oh. I see you've played knife-y, spoon-y before.

You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!

At this point, I'm pretty sure that Tarantino makes movies with the express purpose of pissing off Spike Lee.

At least you don't have a colon in there.

At least you don't have a colon in there.

I'm weirdly impressed by the number of shows on this list with exclamation marks.

I'm weirdly impressed by the number of shows on this list with exclamation marks.

When was the last time that Uma Thurman made a good movie? Has she made a worthwhile film since Kill Bill?

When was the last time that Uma Thurman made a good movie? Has she made a worthwhile film since Kill Bill?