Chris Van Allsburg is the boss. I loved his books as a kid, and they still hold up, but there's no need to adapt them into movies - they work perfectly as picture books. Not every art form needs to be adapted into another art form, Hollywood mofos. (Confidential to Hollywood mofos: if you're secretly hard at work on a…

Chris Van Allsburg is the boss. I loved his books as a kid, and they still hold up, but there's no need to adapt them into movies - they work perfectly as picture books. Not every art form needs to be adapted into another art form, Hollywood mofos. (Confidential to Hollywood mofos: if you're secretly hard at work on a…

From the whimsey-mongers who brought you "The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel!"

From the whimsey-mongers who brought you "The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel!"

The handjob is narrated by Morgan Freeman.

The handjob is narrated by Morgan Freeman.

I really like that movie, despite it being ridiculous. I know people who are wolf biologists who hate that movie, and I can totally understand why, but I still enjoy it.

I really like that movie, despite it being ridiculous. I know people who are wolf biologists who hate that movie, and I can totally understand why, but I still enjoy it.

And if she gets some awards for ZDT, that will finally make up for Point Break getting robbed for best picture, best director, etc.

And if she gets some awards for ZDT, that will finally make up for Point Break getting robbed for best picture, best director, etc.

The descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys, having put all that unpleasantness behind them, just drinkin', ATVin', and bro-ing down together. That would be awesome.

The descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys, having put all that unpleasantness behind them, just drinkin', ATVin', and bro-ing down together. That would be awesome.

I've never liked Brendan Fraser, but I have to admit that his performance in The Quiet American is fantastic.

I've never liked Brendan Fraser, but I have to admit that his performance in The Quiet American is fantastic.

I think Junot Diaz is great. But I don't think you're stupid, or racist, or even a downer. You're entitled to your opinion, and you know what? You're alright.

I think Junot Diaz is great. But I don't think you're stupid, or racist, or even a downer. You're entitled to your opinion, and you know what? You're alright.

Oh, and Ted Leo, though he's already talked about his financial struggles a lot on his blog and in interviews (possibly even on this site).

Oh, and Ted Leo, though he's already talked about his financial struggles a lot on his blog and in interviews (possibly even on this site).

MC Hammer

MC Hammer