You're going to have to choose between them soon. Poor Bryce.

Dog costumes are an offense to the old gods and the new both.

90s Skipper and her baggy clothes would be fine.

It's all fun and games until teenagers start shipping wolf urine to each other. It's still fun and games after that, too, actually. Hm. Forget I said anything.

At a crucial juncture, Barbie, Ken, and Skipper will have to escape from a villain using some roller skates they have found. Ken and Skipper will get away, but Barbie can't put them on - they're flats.

Wouldn't you rather do Nixon 2?

Ahem. There is an expert on penises at HBO, and I ask that you refer all such matters to him.

Yup. Put it in a paper bag, stuff it in the freezer.

I'm sure the Heaven is For Real sequel announcement is coming next. It will star all Gyllenhaals.

I'm picturing Barbie punching a peep and getting her fist stuck inside its gooey thorax, and then the rest of the peeps attacking her. So a short film, really.

At the most terrifying theatre arts camp of them all!

Who can take the sunshine…

Wait, that's not Orphan Black?

It's an articulable suspicion.

Poots and Peet are Tout de Suite!

AV Club gave the Future a B+.

Not for long.

I don't really want this to happen, but it would be kind of darkly funny if he outlived Conan O'Brien.

Thanks, Obama!

Orgy of the Continents