The lawsuit is extremely worrying, and I 100% sided with Pharrell & Co. "Blurred Lines" is a total knockoff, sure, but that's not—or at least shouldn't be—illegal. It's not a sample. It's not an interpolation. It's not a replay. Being able to sue somebody over "stealing my vibe" is utter horseshit.

The crowning achievement of "Get Lucky" was being the soundtrack for Stephen Colbert's dance-tacular with Bryan Cranston, the Rockettes, Jeff Bridges, and Henry Kissinger.

Well, people like Pharrell. They think Thicke is a Doucheburger Supreme.

Ditto. It's perfect.

Giggle giggle!

Lolita is quite possibly my single favorite novel, but I'm in the "it cannot be adequately adapted to film" school of thought. The genius of the narration cannot be translated from prose to onscreen images.

Out-fucking-standing metaphor.

DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

Well, there really is no junk mail. Everybody wants to get a check or a birthday card, but it takes just as much man power to deliver it as their precious little greeting cards.

Enter CAPTAIN ASSHOLAY's bulge, followed by CAPTAIN ASSHOLAY himself.

That's precisely it. He squeezed out anything that made him compelling and became a cookie-cutter mid-'90s gangsta rapper. And there was much better gangsta rap to be had.

I'm definitely not in the Cult of Tupac at all. He was…OK. Better working with Digital Underground than in any other setting.

Oooooo, he called you Arsenio!

There certainly are no good rap double albums. Maybe artists in other genres have been able to pull of double albums with little to no filler, but rappers never have.

"En Vogue…Ha-Halle Berry…."

The rise to greatness was very swift, and the fall to shit was even swifter. It's a hell of a story.

Those would all be great and extremely compelling, but you already mentioned the reason why they'll never come to pass: WWE. It owns all the footage, has all the character names copyrighted, and will never let an outside source do a proper documentary because A) WWE will make more money doing the documentary itself,…

And a *booooooiiiiiiiiing* sound effect.

You Had Too Much to Drink

But what about the Boogedy Man?