Next thing I know, I'm walking out the door with meds for borderline personality disorder
You were properly diagnosed by a professional

on your right you'll see Bruce Willis and Christina Aguilera's house

Alex was right about one ply toilet paper being awful at least

I might have to steal doing standup with Sinbad for my bucket list

put your butt on my face

Charlie is right drowning rats is always a great topic for a date

the Game of Thrones series finale is on tonight Khaleesi is marrying Jack Sparrow, the show has really gone off the rails

Svetlana is acting as a surrogate, I'm not sure if they said for who, and Carl broke his ankle skateboarding.

I could have probably watched a whole episode of Michelle singing Let's Go To Bed by The Cure

stop making like Coldplay and getting into trouble

no shit Cosby mysteries made me laugh even if it has a different meaning now

I need someone because my mom pulled out
maybe your dad should have pulled out

between this, real hotwives of Orlando and arscheerio paul, Paul Scheer is really becoming a master at hosting things

I wish we got to see Bobby trying to figure out what a bidet is

my son sells them on Etsy, he is a huge disappointment

Nick's brain remains a thing of beauty:

You are under arrest for mesmerizing the rock and roll hall of fame to induct Kiss by the Police, Sting and Andy Summers

there is so much gluten in this taco

Roger Miller - king of the road

I didn't like the implication that being rejected by a man made Candance and Toni feminists