a wine glass broke without Jules giving it a funeral, I hope she's okay

I had to sacrifice a lot like Neepa or Pramood or Gamora or Groot or Rocket the Raccoon
I think some of those are just Guardians of the Galaxy

Kristof's got this piece on net neutrality today not sure where I stand on it very complex issue

eat a dick Mitch
will do

Cheryl's client's drawing being made of fingernails because they didn't have access to arts and crafts was pretty brilliant

I felt so bad for Ruth

drop house would be the perfect name for a port a potty company, I'm taking this to Shark Tank once this is all done

I like blue balls not blue humor
you like blue balls?

it was nice seeing Ernie Hudson as Pete and Clive's dad

I sure do love horses
that's kind of what got you in here

I'm usually not impressed unless I'm at a magic show

it was worse than the last season of Scrubs, a teaching hospital c'mon

How did that piece of lettuce get in that spiderweb?

she was struck by lightning while pregnant, she died I lived some say that makes Zeus my father

congrats to Reggie on his perfect game at least

I was a bit confused in the teacher sketch because some of the kids looked about 8 and I think some were adults

Danny trying to do a Borat impression was very nice

she played me like John Popper plays a tiny harmonica

Kumail Nanjiani was so great as Skip

Clerks? Why did you call your movie what Madea calls clocks