You brushed my hand at a Dave Matthews concert, during Two Step. Two Step!

Prince must really suck at Frisbee there's like 10 up there

Terrence is in an all male production of Little Women, I play Beth!

I hope they don't break it into tiny pieces, I like my glory whole

Leslie can't watch anything with Julie Andrews in it before bed time because it makes her too hyper

I want to be the person who does closed captioning for the Ewoks

that is indeed Moze

I believe it was Kelly Ripa-Consuelos who said " your children need your presence not your presents" it works better written out

I am so used to seeing Ike as Morgan it was weird seeing him be a competent lawyer

If the dog has a visible beanbag he has to wear dog pants

I thought I was banging Seal Team Six but I was banging sixteen seals, thanks America arf arf

Good luck Troy and Donald sailing the world even if American imperialism has homogenized all cultures

I drink your milkbox. I drink it all up.
Okay Dalia Day Lewis
Who?

Does this mean Danny and Mindy are Josh and Cher? It makes so much sense

This week in Nick:
he picks up rubber bands off the ground for Jess to use as scrunchies and he googled how to build a bomb out of curiosity not because he was planning to do anything

Fiona is right every concession stand needs churros, also fun fact Emmy came up with that line https://twitter.com/emmyros…

Will there soon be calculators for women? The answer may not shock you

So is Uretha Franklin the latest incarnation of Mouse Rat

I've only seen 2 Police Academys the last two

I'm pretty impressed that Laurie knows the word doppelganger