I guess Oscar will nominate exactly the number

See Maria Bello, this is call preparing for a role!

Now in character:

As a hater of turleneck sweaters I, for one, am glad to be circumcized. I'd do it again if I could!

My raging case of [e] has seemingly cleared up. Sorry if i breathed it on you AV Club Post-Modern Artiste.

sorry, i missed that joke because someone was tugging at my cochlea.

everyone knows that rock music achieved perfection in 1975.

i always assumed he wedged Ally McBeal into a door frame and used her as his P90X chin up bar.

can't believe it took him 2.5 years to finally take the blue pill.

but if you hold on for one more day i'll have time to pick them up from Wegmans.

you forgot the box of pepperidge farms milano cookies.

Meow meow meow
Where the fuck is Mr. Rogers?

I un-ironically enjoy Huey Lewis. It is music that makes me smile and fondly remember all the stupid mistakes I made in high school.

just because someone has to:

I was just thinking: "i wonder why Jack Black hasn't taken on the banking community". what a coincidence.

i always thought he would have made a great batman. Too bad he was too old by the time the serious version of them came along.

I have to confess that I am neither hungry, or a housecat. I am, in truth, a sated salamander.

Tortured soul Hungry Hungry Hungry Housecat may stab eyes out of his head if he is forced to watch Bradley Cooper ruin classic literature.

Me and my girlfriend were totally going to have sex, but then Freaks and Geeks came on the TV and she wanted to watch. After the episode I tried again, but she said no way.

The sequal already has a name: Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hyperbole