@wsvon, I sincerely hope you are being facetious.

I get Diabeetus mixed up with a walrus i saw on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom when I was just a kitten.

Two words: Fuck Toto.

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

I'll just wait for the nurse to change me and put ointment on my bedsores.

Maybe The Guy Who Hates To Have To Point This Out is from Mongolia and is sad that his gerbil emigrated here.

Talkies will be the end of Vaudeville, I tells ya!

If gerbils do not find a group, they become frustrated and start attacking one another.

That's it. I'm selling my house and devoting my life to hanging out with Rip Torn.

What weight class will he be boxing in? Pre-teen?

Is John Favreau signing up for the MMA? I know interest rates are low right now, but everyone needs a savings vehicle.

Here I'll steal from The Onion and say that I'm not sure if this news should cause me to get up, or get down.

It's snowing like a motherfucker where I am right now, so a little silly is welcome. That said, I haven't even heard of these guys.

Must be a slow day in gerbil land. Three comments before 8:30 EST.

Fine, since the gerbil is falling down on the job:

Skank, I'll be laughing at that all night.

What the hell?
Is he prepping for a roll as a concentration camp survivor? Jesus he is skinny.

I'll bet this will be the best game since Red Dot On The Screen Moving Randomly 3.

I knew a guy named Joey Pants once. What a guy! What a character! The guy always wore pants….

You're going to make this show funnier, see! Or I'll be giving you a knuckle sandwich upside your schnoz! Now go get me a pastrami on rye!