Oh yeah, this is an all-time favorite. Cage, Hopper…JT Walsh was the slimy icing on the cake.

I'm sure…if there were a visual representation of, "I takes CARE o' mah kids!", it would certainly be present-day Lark Voorhies.

I, for one, am looking forward to many Lark Voorhies-themed masturbation fantasies. Now, if you'll pardon me, I need to purchase a fresh bottle of baby oil.

It's strangely comforting to know that somewhere, somebody else understands this reference. Thank you kind sir for bringing a small measure of peace to this tormented old soul. And they worship Blue Oysters.

Bring it, Big McLargeHuge.

Eh. Mike's better. And so is Crow's new voice.

I feel the exact same way about that last Lifetime movie-of-the-week. Three hundred years from now, people will marvel at Joyce DeWitt's ability to bring together such disparate metaphysical elements into one two-hour drama.

My girlfriend at the time & I were in an extremely unhealthy, abusive relationship, and we discovered the "Transformer" album in the jukebox at our favorite dive bar. We'd make a habit of playing "Vicious" over a few rounds before we started throwing things at each other. When she heard of Reed's demise, she sent me…

I'm amazed Roosevelt didn't settle this rivalry like he did all others: stripping to the waist and challenging Taft to a bout of fisticuffs. "Roosevelt v. Putin: Deathmatch 2000" would've made for a great film.

My vote goes for Aniston's accent in "The Good Girl". However, the movie redeems itself with that scene of John C. Reilly smacking her across the face.

…or the solution to the oil crisis was to increase gas mileage, versus bombing those damn raghead bastards.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: He's one of the only actors I've ever seen do a convincing Maine accent.

Wes Craven managed to pull off that Meryl Streep movie, "Music of the Heart," was it? Anything can happen.

No, I believe it's "Slay her, bitch". That opens up a whole new world of interesting scenarios.

"But I'm not dead yet! In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook!" Ahh, the days when Nixon's mortality was still in question.

I survived the loss of Lionel Hutz; I can get through this.

(G)transformers. (The "G" is silent).

I seem to remember a story of some psycho photographer hassling Mike Tyson outside of a hotel and (stupidly) saying, "You've got fast fists, but they're not as fast as a bullet, Tyson". Tyson immediately dropped the guy with one punch. Chris Brown's a sissy.

"Pretentious"? You use that word, but I don't think you know what it really means. Anyhow, Godspeed to you. Enjoy the Steve Vai tapes.

"Highway to Heaven" indeed. I'd wager there's shit in there that would make Bon Scott blush.