I went vegetarian simply because my digestive system is too screwed-up to digest meat any more.  But I make up for all the meat I'm no longer murdering by clubbing a few baby seals every now and then.

Christ.  More crap about guys who spent all day powdering their wigs & writing Constitutional Ammendments.  I can hear Glenn Beck beating off clear to the Left Coast.

Lux would demolish Marshall stacks with a mic stand.  I really, really miss The Cramps.  Once Roky Erickson kicks it, I just don't see any reason to soldier on.

A hollowed-out mackerel and a bottle of lube?  What could I possibly use THESE for???

I saw him perform live about seven years ago.  Dude's twice my age, but I'd have a heart attack running around that much.  Lux Interior performed the same way, except he did it while wearing a leather jumpsuit, which is why he's no longer with us.

Who's High-Pitch?  This is Kelly Clarkson!

Hey Iggy you're so lithe, you're so lithe you blow my mind, hey Iggy!  Hey Iggy!

Lazy entitled union workers…serves Johnny right.

I'm going to go kill my landlord.  In the meantime, I NEEDED MONEY BUT I HAD NONE!!!  I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON!!!!

I likes seein' 'em when they was barely legal.  Hur hur hur.

The dirt cookies the Haitians ate after that hurricane.  15% flour, 70% water, 15% feces-soaked dirt.  Between the fiber & the cholera, everyone must've been very regular during that crisis.

Pruno?

While once perusing 17th-century recipe books, I found a recipe for "Poultrie-Flavoured Ale", a beer that involved fermenting the wort with a whole chicken.  It's too disgusting to be real, but I'd take a sip if I had a tetanus shot handy.  Also, I hear Coor's made a menthol-flavored beer back in the '70s.  That…

I'm reading lots of intriguing material on this "Stoker" movie.

If she made a habit of standing inside jet engine intakes, I'm amazed she made it to 78.

Torgo!

Paul Baloff, Ronnie James Dio, Keith Moon, Peter Steele…I could go on and on.

HOLY SHIT!!!  Bruce Willis was FUCKING DEAD ALL ALONG!!!

Well, they make fun tracks the kids like to dance to, I suppose.  If that's what you expect as a consumer, more power to you.  Just to make things clear,though, as much as dislike the FFs, Grohl gets a lifetime pass for Probot.

Oh, they're takin' us to the smokehouse alright.