Sandra "Nozzles" Bullock gets my prone vote every time!

The actress has a speech impediment, you heartless tool.

Is a perversion chopped ham?  No - it's chopped STEAK!

Who, then, are the Cuervo Gold and the fine Colombian of hatin'?

I'm not a hot chick, but I always wear tight leather bodysuit and lots of guns to work. Really sets a tone for negotiations.

First, Jimmy James wins an internets for that crack.

Max is the bastard love child of Donald Trump and Sarah Palin.

Caligula would have found Julia Roberts attractive.

So, uh… didja get any on the date?

I sincerely hope he has his member nailed to a dead cat and fed to Rottweilers.

What kind of crazy Andy eats a rubbertree plant?

I want an invection burner, if it can actually create flaming invective. Then I want to shove James Oseland into it, hideous lips-first.

^ Presumably you're throwing up a big wad of Reggie Bush's jizz.

Cable will arrive between 9 and 12, or 2 and 5.

Is it an attractive woman's corpse? If so, does it appear fresh and clean?

Is defending Norm McDonald to your friends more of a disservice to Norm McDonald, or to your friends?

Rock 'n' roll hair is ass-hair. Hence the chaps, and the spandex.

Rosario Dawson was fap-tastic. Plus Christopher Walken. And monkeys raping Duane Johnson's face.

^ That scene where monkeys raped the Rock's face was really funny.

They're less annoying when you deliberately mangle them. Observe!