Stick spicy food up her butt!
Oh Kevin. How can anyone say no to you?

Unreasonably optimistic
"it seems unlikely that Warner Bros. will bankroll a movie in which a two-dimensional tank blasts away at an implacable zombie-like horde of descending aliens for 90 minutes"

Great, now you made me want to go toe karaoke and do Fred Schneider versions of Doors songs. I'll probably be stoned to death. Thanks a lot.

Whatever his liabilities as a filmmaker may be, you can't really call Kelly a hack. He's really kind of the opposite. Save that term for your Brett Ratners.

i don't know, Dbag, have you seen Ravenous?

Whoops! Here ya go
No question that the Oscar Denzel got for this was a make up award. He totally should have won for Hurricane the year before. Not that this wasn't a great performance too, but he was definitely robbed the year before.

bland protagonist, nonsensical plot, miscast Cruz, overestimation of McConaughey's charisma, blockbuster-by-numbers feeling.

Both?
Seems we've been talking a lot lately about the decline of ironic appreciation. This poster seems tailor-made to keep that talk going. The part of me that loves things for being tacky and grandiose says AWESOME but the other part says, "really? how exactly is this 'good'?" To which the first part can only say,…

between a prickly, snobbish, whiny, reserved genius and a cruel, manipulative, rapacious, screeching, attention-seeking, no-talent wannabe, I'll take the genius.

Paul Dano with a chin implant.

In the response ad, I don't think it's fair for her to count bypassing opportunities to mock and humiliate her partner (over Fantasy Baseball, baldness, etc.) as loving sacrifices. Including stuff like that kind of makes her sound like . . . an assertive woman.

Maybe there's something wrong with my instruments

Story that no one will believe
I ran into Henry Winkler at a lunch truck in Santa Monica a few weeks before Cop and a Half came out. There was some confusion as to who was next to order, him or me, and after a little "you first - no, you first - no, I insist" we struck up a little small talk. Perhaps a little…

Yeah, I thought of Bugsy, too. Grossed $49 million domestic and won two Oscars. Not a flop, but hardly a hit either.

Dear Ndugu
I friggin' loved the voiceover in About Schmidt. It was such a funny departure from the action onscreen to hear Nicholson check in with his adopted, foreign child and share the goings-on in his life and to hear the way he cleaned up and toned down certain elements for him sometimes and other times was…

I thought this was a stupid question
Until I realized that I went a fair bit out of my way to visit Bon Scott's grave in Fremantle, Australia.

I was thinking the same thing. He's a long way from his old Oscar-baiting days.

Wait, you've all seen this right? Anyone else post this yet?

Really, WPW? What was so racist? He doesn't like sagging? I kind of agree (or at least I think it's pretty stupid - wearing your pants a little low is one thing but having your pants' waist below your ass is ridiculous, you can't walk properly, you've constantly got to pull them up, and isn't it cold outside?), so…

Wow. You usually find something good to say about everyone. I can't believe the guy didn't at least accidentally do something good worth mentioning. I guess I'll find out when I catch up with him in Heaven.