[ chuckles ]
"Yes, once."

Gonzo as Lucky was inspired casting.

"Nothing really notable happened in the way of health care yesterday…"

Scrabble answers?

Oh, yeah…?
I'll have you know my wife is a giant fly!

But why is the photo of Jeff Goldblum?

But fucking Fiats and Audis is still okay, right?

Now you owe me a kidney!

Also, Cortana is a whore!

Um… could I borrow your car and/or kidney?

Also, where's the first 20 seconds of the Beatles' song "Help!" (U.S. album version only)?

Sir, your analogy has frightened my children.

"You want any cream…?"

But I'm poor!

Yes, at midnight (EST). Here's a partial list of today's films (thanks to @beasterly ):

Thanks, Siri!

Exactly.

It probably went the way of "The Claudine Longet Invitational Ski Championship."

Apparently, it really did "peak."

Siri, what's the deal with Smithers — I mean Putin?
… You know what I'm talking about!