[citation needed]

Without proper capitalization, that last sentence is confusing.

Have you ever met Ramius, General?

You make it sound like Sherman's character dying would be a bad thing.

And it's Planet Hulk in the past.

Go for the NC17 rating and gore!

"Lou Diamond Phillips returns next week"

Is she really "monstrous"? She seems like a pretty typical co-worker to me, someone who feels the world's out to get them, so any way they can make things work for them, they do it.

"Why he didn't also pull his weapon and return fire is another question."

It's a damn good thing, because he needs one.

Well, that and the fact libraries are done for.

One of our beagles came to us obese and has happily stayed that way no matter what we do. Her name is Lacey because she came with it, but it's not what I think when I see her.

Just replying here because I wanted to say it's raining here and this piece totaally left me wistful for a sick day with some soup and all these crappily-animated cartoons. I have no idea why (maybe because I liked "Get Smart!" as well), but I rooted for Tennessee Tuxedo. He was kind of an asshole, but he had a decent…

Completely agree and that's why Phineas & Ferb has a series recording set up on my DVR.

You missed one: The Field, the only movie that ever caused me to leap off the couch at the end and begin berating everyone else around me for having forced me to watch something so soul-crushingly depressing. SPOILER: Life sucks, then you die and it's your fault and your fucked-up family's fault and no one ever has a…

Just how young was your brother?

Does he do that weird-ass laugh of his in it, e.g., "Ty Cobb wanted to come too, but none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch in real life. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!"?

Thank you for your pain. I just discovered that film is available on Netflix On Demand. It sounds enough like a Serious Film to fool my wife into putting it on.

Which is unfortunate, because your username could totally be a lost Dan track.

I would also nominate Pretzel Logic's: "When the dawn patrol got to tell you twice/ 
They're gonna do it with a shotgun"