Something actually funny from Family Guy - Danny DeVito's proposal to Rhea Perlman:
"Look, it's either me or nobody."

The fuck does any of that mean?

I've seen the backwards talking dude in promos on Showtime, so hopefully he's coming back.

I think you're confusing it with Pineapple Express 2, which was a documentary within the documentary called This is the End.

Really? I thought Pineapple Express was a documentary.

Worked for Pineapple Express.

I'm in a fantasy baseball league with a team charmingly named "The Baltimore Gloryholes".

There were chili beans and kidney beans. I just forgot about them.

I made a pot of slow cooked chili over the weekend. Someone gave me some "fatale"? peppers that were pretty damn hot and I had to use them for something. It worked out pretty well. Beer, beef, a bunch of different peppers, onions, V8, and chili powder.

Wouldn't get that back.

One of my favorite Simpsons exchanges:

Fuck you, Fox.

Trump (a possible billionaire funding his own campaign) isn't doing it for the good of the country either.

Trump said he might put Palin in the Cabinet.

Ricochet.

Or Billy Joel.

I'm a pretty prolific drinker and even I can't stomach that shit. I used to try when I was younger and even poorer than I am now.

They have $2 PBR's at the bar a block away from my house. I don't enjoy it, but I can afford it and it gets the job done.

Ew.

"I have been given 15 . . [tablet crashes to the ground and breaks] . . 10, 10 commandments!"