Mabel's "shouting vaudevillian" speech pattern makes me feel less sad about her fate.

Ha! Terlet!

How is it that Kirk Cameron Left Me Behind has not yet provided a caption for the accompanying photo?

Hate to admit it, but O'Neal is probably going to end up being right. Again.

TD2: Detective Boogaloo

It seems to me like you are the expert!

I can't help but think that Bourne's "You look tired" comment led to Joan Allen's unfortunate face lift.

I distinguish them primarily by Damon's increasing weight.

I enjoy the Bourne movies, though admittedly this might be because I also love green grass.

SHUT UP! We didn't lose Viet Nam! It was a TIE!!

In the picture or in my description? You see how this is confusing for me?

Those two look so much alike I can never tell which one is the egomaniacal asshole and which is the one with the violent temper.

Lord knows we've tried

For ages I avoided seeing it entirely due to it being described as "the best fucking move ever" by a friend's then girlfriend who was an infantile moron. Her favorite part was how "they just fucking punch each other all the time". It was on HBO or something not too long ago so I decided to give it a look. Got…

Bennie and the Jets (of blood being lapped up by sexy, sexy vampires)

This

Even at 15 those gigantic underpants would have been boner poison.

I sincerely thought it was going to be a takedown of the song from "Annie". Although I would have liked to see how that played out this makes much more sense.

Them ain't moles, them's warts.

And it's a beautiful day…