Ed Wood was a prophet, and looked damn good in cashmere.

The problem is not so much twitter, as it is the internet in general. You could tweet some nutritional advice to this kid, open a discourse on diplomacy with your local congressman. Apply Twitter in a more meaningful and beneficial sense. But I'm obviously giving humanity too much credit here.

Well it's a good thing he found so many mature and well-minded folks on the internet to convince him of the error of his ways.

Hey some of us are lonely, and those nuggets are right there being all …"nuggety"

Also I'd say Wendy's is technically incrementally better than McDonalds nuggets, but I'm not sure what the standard is here.

Was gonna say this kid's gonna die of malnutrition halfway into the year, unless those dipping sauces have some nutrients we don't know about.

I'm mean sure some gags are funny(albeit incredibly repetitive), but honestly, you couldn't put those resources to more constructive pursuits, like say reassembling our crumbling infrastructure, INTERNET??!!

Way to waste your potential, Internet!!

Let's work on that poor impulse control, Internet!!

"Worldwide Information at the touch of your Fingertips!" "The ability to communicate worldwide!" "Countless ways we can enlighten and improve society!"……

They're not fit to clean Machiavelli's piss bowl.

Game of Dicks.

How about "depressingly enlightened" or "despairingly in the know" or "eating the shit of truth."
I'm not feeling particularly optimistic at the moment.

No need to be sorry. Enjoying fascists suffer is the American way.

By an eerie coincidence, I am just starting that book. It might just be in there.

So were the Kids in the Hall right all along?
https://youtu.be/6tZar4wRP40

If aliens would eat us, we'd be junk food. Or at least comfort food.
An interstellar colony would collapse and the aliens would be crying out of what I assume would be tear ducts, and eating various flavors of deep-fried salted human. And they would immediately regret it, not out of any sympathy mind you, but because…

Someone should review a found footage movie with a found footage review. Like some critic would record his review and then disappear. But nobody would know why he disappeared or what movie he reviewed. They would have to FIND the movie to understand the critique. And after they watch the movie, they would write their…

*throws an OK sign*
It Stinks!

False, the gov't finds you, burns your footage and airbrushes you out of pictures. Keep your footage unfound.