Go watch "Forbidden Zone" and skip to the part where Danny Elfman sings his version of "Minnie the Moocher" about decapitation and tell me you wouldn't want to fuck him until he gets his hearing back.

Welcome Freshmen

I just admire the balls it takes to call yourself undefeated after losing one race and dropping out of another before it can even start.

@ Olivececile

Okay, here's the situation
My parents went away on a week's vacation

Always avoid alliteration.

YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY WIZARD BOARDING SCHOOL FANTASY EXPERIENCE

You've convinced me. I'm on my way to the local multiplex with a sleeping bag and a sack of shitty jellybeans.

Is it just me, or have most sitcoms with a house as the main set done the "someone drives a car through the living room" gag? I could swear it was also in episodes of Full House, Family Matters and a few others.

Joe Propinka, how could you not post that entire exchange?

I always thought she said "sleaze" which I found hysterical.

I was kidding, Robot Elf.

Wasn't Beans the kid with cerebral palsy that everyone else made fun of?

Of course, you're in character. Does that include your ridiculous and asinine social and political beliefs as well? Because that sure would be a hoot.

You seem upset.

Stay out of it, Nick Lachey!

Hey Hugo, try reading what I posted next time, you robot elf or whatever the fuck.

Stock footage.

Throw in a little auto-erotic asphyxia for the kids and you could call it "Printing Money"

And now he's attracting Lobsters 1, who seems to think self-deprecation is the best way to go about being "funny".